The Parable of the Quantum Collision

One day while teaching, Josh was asked, ”Teacher, at the subatomic level, is it possible to celebrate the anniversary of the Hadron Collider?”

Josh spoke thus:

A group of scientists were examining the results of a particle collision.

“That is the moment when dragons existed,” one scientist said, pointing to an image that resembled a star field but was billions of times smaller.

“Was it dragons or unicorns?” another scientist asked.

“It was dragons and unicorns, both,” the first scientist said.

“It was neither,” a different scientist said.

“It was all three,” the lead scientist said.

“At what speed are there dragons?” someone in the back of the crowd asked.

“Dragons are at all speeds,” was the reply, “Unicorns, not so much.  At very few speeds are there unicorns.”

“Ever elusive, the unicorn,” a voice said.  The crowd laughed.

“So does this mean God or Not God?” someone asked.

“It means God and Not God,” someone else replied.

“It means all three,” the lead scientist added.

“One collision tells us all that?” a student asked.

“One collision denies all that,” a professor answered.

“One collision says all three,” the lead scientist said.

“So where does that leave us?” a random scientist asked.

“Are we here anymore, or are we elsewhere?” a less random scientist asked.

A thoroughly non-random scientist asserted their existence.

A less non-random scientist denied their existence.

The least random and most random scientist asserted and denied assertion and denial.

“This is all feeling wonky,” a new scientist said.

“That happens,” an old scientist said.

“Is it common?” the new scientist asked.

“It’s rare,” the old scientist said, “Which is to say that it happens all the time.  Every time, in fact.  And never.”

“Should we maybe stop colliding particles?” the new scientist asked.

“We have stopped colliding particles,” the older scientist said, “Which is to say that will soon begin.”

“We haven’t collided particles yet?” the new scientist asked.

“We’ve collided every particle,” the old scientist said, “And will always continue to do so.”

“It’s a quantum world we live in,” the new scientist said.

“There is no quantum,” the old scientist said.

“Which is to say there is nothing but quantum,” the new scientist said.

“All three,” the lead scientist said.