The Parable of the Cat Owner

One day while teaching, Josh was asked, ”Teacher, how does cutting food programs for the poor help the poor?”

Josh spoke thus:

A cat owner wasn’t feeding the cat.

“If you feed a cat, it won’t catch mice,” the cat owner said, “You have to keep a cat hungry.”

“If the cat starves to death, it won’t catch mice either,” the cat owner’s neighbor said.

“The cat won’t starve to death,” the cat owner said, “Cats are predators.  Cats are hunters.  Cats can feed themselves.”

“Wild cats can,” the cat owner’s neighbor said, “And feral cats can, but domestic cats can’t.”

“All cats can,” the cat owner said, “It’s their nature.  Are you saying domestic cats don’t catch birds?  You’ve seen cats bring dead birds into the house.  And field mice.  And voles.  And all sorts of things.”

“Baby birds that have fallen out of trees, maybe,” the neighbor’s friend said, “Or sick mice that probably were already dying.  Domestic cats aren’t hunters.”

“Domestic cats in barns have been killing rats since the times of the Pharaohs,” the cat owner said.

“Those domestic cats lived in the barns,” the cat owner’s neighbor said, “They were more wild than tame.  They didn’t sit on their owners’ laps and purr and play with cat toys and scratch on scratching posts.”

“My cat doesn’t scratch on scratching posts,” the cat owner said, “I had it declawed.”

“How is the cat supposed to kill mice if it’s declawed?” the cat owner’s neighbor said.

“I had to declaw the cat,” the cat owner said, “Look at my furniture.  Wood, velvet, leather.  A cat with claws would have destroyed my furniture.”

“So declaw the cat,” the cat owner’s neighbor said, “I’d declaw a cat too, but then don’t expect the cat to catch mice.”

“The mice don’t know the cat doesn’t have claws,” the cat’s owner said, “The mice see a cat and they run.”

“The mice see a cat without claws, and they laugh,” the cat owner’s neighbor said.

“Mice can’t laugh,” the cat owner said.

“And cats without claws can’t catch mice,” the cat owner’s neighbor said, “Especially in a Fifth Avenue penthouse.  There are no mice in a Fifth Avenue penthouse.  Your cat will starve.”

“Then the cat will starve,” the cat owner said, “No mice, no dinner.  I earn my keep.  The cat has to earn its keep.  And I mean that.”

“What do you mean?” the cat owner’s neighbor asked.

“Don’t think I don’t know you go to the pet store and buy mice,” the cat owner said, “I know a store-bought mouse when I see one.”

“The cat was starving!” the cat owner’s neighbor said.

“The cat wasn’t hunting,” the cat owner said.

“There are no mice,” the cat owner’s neighbor said.

“Then I don’t need a cat,” the cat owner said.

“Give me the cat,” the cat owner’s neighbor said.

“You can’t have a cat,” the cat owner said, “No one in the building can have pets.”

“So how did you get a cat?” the cat owner’s neighbor asked.
“I needed a cat to keep away mice,” the cat’s owner said.

“There are no mice!” the cat owner’s neighbor said.

“Because I have a cat,” the cat owner said.