The Parable of the Optimist and the Pessimist

One day while teaching, Josh was asked, ”Teacher, do you avoid black cats, ladders and cracks in the sidewalk on Friday the Thirteenth?”

Josh spoke thus:

An optimist and a pessimist were walking down a city street. The optimist spied a penny on the sidewalk.

“Hey look,” the optimist said, “See a penny, pick it up, all day long you’ll have good luck!”

“It’s just a penny,” the pessimist said, “What good is a penny of good luck?”

“Let’s find out!” the optimist said, “Let’s risk the odds!”

“Wait, look,” the pessimist said, “It’s tails-up.”

“So?” the optimist asked.

“To be lucky, it has to be face-up,” the pessimist said.

“Let’s risk the odds!” the optimist said, and the optimist picked up the penny and pocketed it.  The optimist and the pessimist continued their walk.  A half a block on, the optimist spied another penny.

“Look!” the optimist said, “Another penny!  We’ve doubled our luck!  And look!  It’s face-up!”

“Two pennies!” the pessimist said, “Just our luck to find two pennies!”

“Lucky pennies, remember!” the optimist said.  They walked on and soon came upon two pennies, side by side.

“One for you and one for me!” the optimist said, picking up the pennies.

“Keep them,” the pessimist said, “They’ll bring me no luck.”

Further on, they came upon four pennies, and a little way after that, eight pennies.  They then came upon a penny, a nickel and a dime.

“Not all pennies, but we’re doubling our fortune!” the optimist said.

“That and a dollar will leave us about twenty cents short of a cup of coffee at Starbucks,” the pessimist said.

As they continued down the street, they periodically came across money on the ground that exactly matched the amount the optimist had picked up so far.  It was not long before they were far from home, but the optimist’s pockets were too full to hold the money the optimist had gathered, and the pessimist was forced to help carry their findings.  It wasn’t long before they had a great amount of money.  Then they came upon a person with a black doctor’s bag.

“How are you two today?” the person with the bag asked.

“I’m tired,” the pessimist said, “This fool has had me picking up money along the street, and now we’re at least twenty blocks from home.”

“I’m excited!” the optimist said, “Every block or so, we’ve doubled our money!  I’ve never seen such luck!”

“It wasn’t luck,” the person with the bag said, “It was me.”

“You?” the optimist said, “Why have you been so generous?”

“What’s the catch?” the pessimist asked, “Are you going to send us to jail for taking your money?”

“There’s not catch,” the person with the bag said, “Today is Friday the Thirteenth, and I thought to myself, what better day to give somebody some good luck?”

“But you said it wasn’t luck,” the pessimist said.

“It was luck because we made it luck!” the optimist said, “If we hadn’t picked up that first penny, we might have ignored that second penny.  If we hadn’t picked up the second penny, the two pennies together wouldn’t have struck us as interesting.  The fact that we doubled our money each time, made us observant of what other passersby couldn’t see.  And now look how much we have!”

“Thirteen-hundred and ten dollars and seventy-two cents apiece,” the person with the bag said, “When I give you what’s inside this bag.  By accepting a little luck, you earned a lot.  Happy Friday the Thirteenth!”

The person handed the bag to the pessimist and left.

“You take it all,” the pessimist said, handing the bag to the optimist.

“Because you think I made my luck and should reap the rewards?” the optimist asked.

“Because that money will bump me up a tax bracket,” the pessimist said.