The Parable of the Youth Avoiding Extinction

One day while teaching, Josh was asked, ”Teacher, what do you think of the new evidence that suggests that the Neanderthal did not become extinct but were absorbed into the human population?”

Josh spoke thus:

There was a youth who sought to avoid extinction.  The youth bought an assault rifle at a gun show.

“You don’t know how to shoot an assault rifle,” the youth’s friend said right after the youth had bought the assault rifle.

“It doesn’t matter that I don’t know how to shoot an assault rifle,” the youth said.

“How many rounds a second can that assault rifle fire?” the youth’s friend asked.

“It doesn’t matter how many rounds a second the assault rifle can fire,” the youth said.

“Who are you defending yourself against?” the youth’s friend asked.

“It doesn’t matter who I’m defending myself against,” the youth said.

“If it doesn’t matter that you don't know how to shoot an assault rifle, it doesn’t matter how many rounds a second the assault rifle can fire and it doesn’t matter who you’re defending yourself against with the assault rifle, then what does it matter that you bought an assault rifle?” the youth’s friend asked.

“This assault rifle will prevent my extinction,” the youth said.

“How can it prevent your extinction,” the youth’s friend asked, “If you can’t fire it and you don’t know who to fire it at?”

“I don’t have to fire it,” the youth said, “I just have to show it to people and tell people I’ll fire it.”

“How will that save you from extinction?” the youth’s friend asked.

A group of young women who were also visiting the gun show were passing by.  The youth said, “Watch.”

The youth held up the assault rifle and shouted, “The Constitution gives me the right to protect my freedoms, and I will exercise my constitutional right to protect my constitutional rights!”

The group of young women, smiling, approached.

The youth turned to the youth’s friend and whispered, “The key to not becoming extinct is to pass your genes on to the next generation.”  The youth turned to the young women.

“Who wants to help me protect my constitutional rights?” the youth asked the group of young women, “Lets start with the pursuit of happiness.”