The Parable of the Burglary Specialist

One day while teaching, Josh was asked, ”Teacher, is it wise to allow Wall Street to write the laws regulating Wall Street?”

Josh spoke thus:

The chief of security at a hotel in Cannes was searching for a consultant to make the hotel more safe.

The chief of security first went to the chief of police.  The chief of police walked with the chief of security around the hotel.

“This window,” the chief of police said, pointing to the back of the kitchen, “This window is easily opened.  It is a security risk.”

“That window is always open,” the chief of security said, “The kitchen is hot.  We need the window to be open.”

“You need to close that window and use a vent,” the chief of police said.  The chief of police pointed out several other windows that needed to be sealed.

“And the door to the roof has a lousy lock,” the chief of police said, “You will also want to consult with the chief of security of the hotel’s insurance company.”

The chief of security thanked the chief of police and made the changes the chief of police suggested.

Next the chief of security went to the security expert of the hotel’s insurance company.

You did a nice job on the kitchen window,” the security expert of the hotel’s insurance company said, “And on the other windows as well.  You need a better lock on the door to the roof.  And the balconies need higher railings.  You will next want to consult with a private investigator.”

The chief of security thanked the security expert of the hotel’s insurance company and made the changes that the security expert of the hotel’s insurance company suggested.

The chief of security next went to a private investigator.

“I like the vent in the kitchen,” the private investigator said, “And the other windows look good.  I like the new railings on the balconies.  You need a better lock on the door to the roof.  The locks on the room doors need to be upgraded to electronic security systems.  You will next want to consult with the burglary specialist from the prison.”

The chief of security thanked the private investigator and made the changes that the private investigator suggested.

The chief of security next went to the burglary specialist from the prison.

“You wasted your time with the vent,” the burglary specialist from the prison said, “Nobody comes in through the kitchen.  Closing that window is a fire hazard.  And the other windows were already as safe as they were going to be.  The balcony railings are nice, but anyone who can climb up to the balconies can easily climb a little higher and climb over the new railings.  That lock you have on the door to the roof is a joke; you need to do something about that.  And the electronic systems on the room doors are nice but they don’t solve your problem.”

“What’s my problem?” the chief of security asked.

“All great hotel burglars come in through the front door and talk their way past the concierge,” the burglary specialist from the prison said, “They steal the key, be it a metal key or an electronic key, and they walk right in the room.  Often they are guests at the hotel.”

“So I’m wasting my time with security?” the chief of security asked.

“You’re stopping the idiot thief, and that’s good,” the burglary specialist from the prison said, “But you can’t stop the specialist.  Oh, and get rid of that vent in the kitchen.  It’s a fire risk.  Open the window.”

“So you’re from the prison?” the chief of security asked, “I’ve been told you’re a reformed burglar.”

“They said I was reformed?” the burglary specialist from the prison said, “Interesting.”

“You’re not reformed?” the chief of security asked.

“I’m not even released from prison for another week,” the burglary specialist from the prison replied, “I’m going back there now.”  

“You’re still in prison?” the chief of security asked.

Walking out the door, the burglary specialist from the prison replied, “That vent in the kitchen is a fire risk.  Open the window.”