The Parable of the Jester’s Prognostications

One day while teaching, Josh was asked, ”Teacher, how much of what we think we know of the effects of global economic expansion is more conjecture than reasoned forethought?”

Josh spoke thus:

A monarch had been listening to the court counselors.  The chancellor of the exchequer had spoken and had been extremely dull.  The minister of defense had been longwinded and obtuse.  The court astrologer had, as was the court astrologer’s habit, made no sense at all.  The monarch called the court jester.

“Court jester,” the monarch said, “The chancellor of the exchequer is boring, the minister of defense is longwinded and obtuse and the court astrologer makes no sense at all.  Alleviate my boredom, enlighten my mind and show me sense.

“I deal in nonsense,” the court jester said, “I do not enlighten.”

“Your nonsense is no more nonsense than senselessness that has assaulted me for the last hours,” the monarch said, “Elevate the discussion.”

“My wit is low,” the court jester said, “I am not elevated.”

“Your basest thoughts are miles above the loam that has clogged my ears the last hours,” the monarch said, “Enliven my discourse.”

“My discourse is lazy,” the court jester said, “My tongue is not lively.”

“Your false modesty is uncouth,” the monarch said, “Come, court jester, prognosticate for me.”

“Ah, it’s prognostication you want!” the court jester said, “You didn’t say!  Listen closely, my beloved monarch, and hear the madness that is the future.”

“The more mad the better!” the monarch said.

“Carriages,” the court jester said, “There will carriages with no horses.”

“Is this a riddle, court jester?” the monarch asked, “What use is a carriage with no horses?”

“The carriages will move by themselves,” the court jester said, “They will be horseless carriages.”

The monarch laughed loudly.

“That is delightful, court jester,” the monarch said, “Prognosticate more!”

  “There will be carriages that fly,” the court jester said.

“Carriages hung from balloons?” the monarch asked, “That would be mad indeed!”

“Not hung from balloons, my beloved monarch,” the court jester said, “Carriages with wings.

“Like birds!” the monarch shouted, “Giant birds!  Ha ha ha!  Tell me one more!”

“Men will fly carriages to the moon,” the court jester said.

“With these birds’ wings?” the monarch asked.

“They shall sit on great burning sticks that will blast them into the sky,” the court jester said, “Like the rockets from Nanking.”

“Great rockets from Nanking blasting men to the moon!” the monarch said, “That is too much!”

“You wanted prognostication, my beloved monarch,” the court jester said, “I have prognosticated.”

“But the moon!” the monarch said, “The moon is too far!  Next you will tell me that we will become addicted to fossil fuels, we will level our forests to clear space for unsustainable monocultures of cash crops, and the high levels of carbon gases in the atmosphere will trap the heat of the sun and gradually warm the planet to where huge areas of the surface of the world are no longer cultivatable and starvation becomes a serious threat to the world’s population.”

The court jester replied, “You asked me for silly prognostications, my beloved monarch, not insane fantasy.”