The Parable of the Two Drunkards on the Balcony

One day while teaching, Josh was asked, ”Teacher, how long can Washington keep playing chicken before somebody actually does some legislating?”

Josh spoke thus:

Two drunkards were climbing up a hotel building.  They were climbing up one floor at a time by stepping on the balcony railings and reaching up to the next floor.  So far, they were three stories up.

“I can climb higher,” one drunkard said. 

“I don't want to climb higher,” the second drunkard said 

“What are you afraid of?” the first drunkard asked. 

“Of falling, of course,” the second drunkard said. 

“I won't fall,” the first drunkard said. 

“You will fall,” the second drunkard said, “And you'll take me with you.”

“I bet we’d take out a few people with us,” the first drunkard said, “Look how many people are down there.”

There was a crowd of people below the two drunkards, some sitting in deck chairs next to the hotel pool, some lounging in the shallow end of the pool, which was the end nearest the hotel, and some sitting at the poolside bar.

“They’re not looking at us,” the second drunkard said, “They’re doing their own thing.”

“That’s what would make it so cool,” the first drunkard said, “They’d be sitting there, reading their tablets, sipping their drinks, splashing with their kids, and then suddenly, boom!  We’d be in amongst them.”

“We’d be all around them,” the second drunkard said, “Well, parts of us.”

“All of our parts would be all over them,” the first drunkard said, “They’d be covered in us before they knew what hit them.”

With the drama of their rapid descent fueling them, the two drunkards ascended to the fourth floor.

“I bet I could reach the pool,” the first drunkard said.

“I bet I could hit the bar, right in the peanuts,” the second drunkard said.

“I bet I could land in that blonde’s lap,” the first drunkard said.

The second drunkard shouted down to the blonde.  “My friend here can jump in your lap!” the second drunkard shouted.

The blonde looked up and waved at the two drunkards.  The second drunkard pointed at the first drunkard, then down at the blonde’s lap.  The blonde beckoned the first drunkard to jump.  The first drunkard prepared to jump.

The people around the pool looked up and spied the two drunkards.  They saw that the first drunkard was preparing to jump.  The crowd began to chant.

“Jump in her lap!” the crowd chanted, “Jump in her lap!”

The first drunkard looked at the second drunkard.

“They think I’m going to jump,” the first drunkard said.

“You are going to jump, aren’t you?” the second drunkard said, “Or are you chicken?”

The first drunkard looked down at the crowd, then at the blonde’s lap.  Then the first drunkard looked up at the fifth floor.

“Maybe one floor higher,” the first drunkard said.

The two drunkards climbed to the fifth floor.  The crowd chanted, “Jump in her lap!  Jump in her lap!”  The blonde sat welcomingly.  The first drunkard prepared to jump.

“Maybe one floor higher,” the second drunkard said.

The first drunkard replied, “Maybe one floor higher.”