The Parable of the Homeless Person and the Fungus

One day while teaching, Josh was asked, ”Teacher, why is it so difficult to clean up Wall Street?”

Josh spoke thus:

A homeless person living in a forest was discovered by the owner of the forest.

“What fungus are you?” the owner of the forest asked the homeless person, “I am not fond of fungus.  I want all fungus out of my forest.”

“Not only am I not fungus,” the homeless person said, “But I can clear your forest of fungus.”

“If you can clear the fungus from the forest, you can stay,” the owner of the forest said, “But if you can not, I’ll have you arrested for trespassing and I’ll have you jailed.”

“Give me a year,” the homeless person said, “And your forest will be clear of all fungus.”

“You have a year,” the owner of the forest said, and the owner of the forest left the homeless person to clear the forest of all fungus.

The next day, the owner of the forest found a bushel of mushrooms at the back door.  The owner of the forest gave the mushrooms to the household cook, and the household cook made a delicious mushroom soup.

“I’m not overly fond of mushrooms, but this soup is delicious,” the owner of the forest said.

The next day, there was another bushel at the back door.  With these mushrooms, the cook made a sauce that was poured over a roasted duck.

“Never has a roasted duck tasted so fine,” the owner of the forest said.

Every day throughout that year, the owner found a bushel of mushrooms.  Every day the cook made a tasty meal.  On the last day, there was a bushel of truffles at the back door.  That night the cook made the most delicious meal the owner of the forest had ever tasted.

The next day, there were no mushrooms at the back door.  The homeless person appeared at the front door.

“I have failed,” the homeless person said, “I’ve picked mushrooms, I’ve dug truffles, I’ve razed and I’ve mowed, but I have been unable to clear the forest of fungus.”

“Of course you’ve been unable to clear the forest of fungus,” the owner of the forest said, “The fungus is a part of the forest.  A mushroom is not a plant, it is an offshoot of a giant underground organism.  The fungus is in the loam, it is part of the root system.  The forest feeds the fungus, and the fungus feeds the forest.  The only way to clear the fungus is to clear the forest.”

“So I should have cleared the forest?” the homeless person asked.

“You never should have made your promise,” the owner of the forest said.  The owner of the forest called the sheriff.

“Sheriff,” the owner of the forest said, “This homeless person has been living in my forest for a year.  This homeless person has been unable in that year to clear my forest of fungus.  Will you arrest this homeless person for trespass?”

“This homeless person has lived in your forest for a year?” the sheriff asked.

“For a year,” the owner of the forest said.

“If this homeless person has lived in your forest for a year, I can’t remove this homeless person,” the sheriff said, “This homeless person has squatter’s rights and legally can stay in your forest.”

The owner of the forest said to the homeless person, “You are no longer a homeless person, you are a part of my forest.  I was right to call you fungus.”

“So I can stay?” the formerly homeless person said.

“You may stay,” the owner of the forest said, “But please, leave me no more bushels.  I could not bear another mushroom!”