The Parable of the Senator in the News

One day while teaching, Josh was asked, ”Teacher, how do politicians walk the line between cutting taxes and bringing home the bacon?”

Josh spoke thus:

Two barflies were watching their senator on television.  The senator was under investigation.
According to the story on the television, the senator had used campaign funds to buy a private airplane.
“A senator needs a private airplane,” one of the barflies said, “If a senator doesn’t have a private airplane, that senator is gonna stay in Washington.  And how’s our senator gonna know what we want if that senator is always in Washington?”
“Washington is la-la land,” the second barfly said, “It’s worse than Hollywood.  Hollywood at least is telling you it’s lying.”
“And if our senator was in Hollywood, I’d want our senator to have a plane to get out of there,” the first barfly said.
The television story also accused the senator of having had an extramarital affair.
“What do they care about extra marital affairs in Washington?” the first barfly asked, “In Washington, they want everybody to have gay sex with everybody.  You can’t have gay sex with everybody when you’re married and not expect to have an extramarital affair.”
“Not unless you’re gay married,” the second barfly said.
“Then you have to have an extramarital affair to have straight sex,” the first barfly said.
“I don’t think they want to have straight sex,” the second barfly said.
 “Of course they do,” the first barfly said, “Everybody wants to have straight sex.”
“I don’t think you understand what it means to be gay,” the second barfly said.
“I don’t think gays know what it means to have sex,” the first barfly said.
“There are days when I don’t know what it means to have sex,” the second barfly said.
“Well our senator sure knows what it means to have sex,” the first barfly said, “And for that they want to throw him out of the Senate?”
“They can’t throw him out of the Senate,” the second barfly said, “Only we can throw him out of the Senate.”
“And they can’t tell us to throw our senator out of the Senate for flying a plane and having sex,” the first barfly said.
“I hope our senator had sex in that plane,” the second barfly said, “I’d give cash money to know my senator’s having sex in a plane. With whoever our senator wants to have sex with.”
“That’s what the donors did,” the first barfly said.
“That’s what our tax dollars did,” the second barfly said.
“First good thing our tax dollars ever did,” the first barfly said.
“That, and assassinating Castro,” the second barfly said.
“Damn straight,” the first barfly said.
The two barflies toasted the assassination of Castro.