The Parable of Two Drunks with Guns

One day while teaching, Josh was asked, ”Teacher, when is a deterrent not a deterrent?”

Josh spoke thus:

Two drunks with guns were arguing in a bar.

“You’re lucky we live where we live,” the first drunk with a gun said to the second drunk with a gun, “Or I’d hit you.”

“What’s stopping you?” the second drunk with a gun asked.

“I know you have a gun,” the first drunk with a gun said.

“You have a gun too,” the second drunk with a gun said, “So we’re even.”

“Yeah, but if I threaten to hit you, you can shoot me,” the first drunk with a gun said, “The law says you can stand your ground and shoot me.”

“For wanting to punch me?” the second drunk with a gun said, “Because you want to hit me I can shoot you dead?”

“If it looks like I can kill you by hitting you, yeah,” the first drunk with a gun said.

“Well, then I can’t shoot you,” the second drunk with a gun said, “You could never hit me hard enough to kill me.”

“What if I took a bottle off the bar and threatened to hit you with it?” the first drunk with a gun asked.

“That still wouldn’t scare me enough,” the second drunk with a gun said.

“What about a chair?” the first drunk with a gun asked.

“What about your gun?” the second drunk with a gun asked.

“Yeah, obviously you could shoot me if I took my gun out,” the first drunk with a gun said, “Unless you took your gun out first.”

“Like if I saw you reaching for your gun, so I thought you might shoot me?” the second drunk with a gun asked, “Then I could shoot you?”

“Yeah,” the first drunk with a gun said, “But you’d have to do it right away.  You couldn’t show me your gun and tell me you were going to shoot me.”

“Why not?” the second drunk with a gun asked.

“Because if you threatened me with your gun, I could legally shoot you,” the first drunk with a gun said, “That would be self defense.”

“But you were going to shoot me with your gun,” the second drunk with a gun said.

“But by taking out your gun, you convinced me I was going to die,” the first drunk with a gun said.

“Damn right I’d convince you you were going to die,” the second drunk with a gun said.

“And there you go,” the first drunk with a gun said, “Self defense.”

“That’s stupid,” the second drunk with a gun said.

“That’s the law,” the first drunk with a gun said.

“Want to put our guns away and just have a good old-fashioned fight?” the second drunk with a gun asked.

“I’d love to,” the first drunk with a gun said, “But we can’t.”

“Why not?” the second drunk with a gun asked.

The first drunk with a gun pointed at a sign behind the bar.  The sign read: “NO FIGHTING.  Minimum $50 fine.  Maximum 2 weeks in jail.”

“Let’s settle this like men,” the second drunk with a gun said.  The second drunk with a gun ordered two shots of whiskey.