The Parable of the Executioner Who Would Be Mayor

One day while teaching, Josh was asked, ”Teacher, how can all these officials who got elected on economic issues justify abandoning economic issues in favor of personal moral crusades?”

Josh spoke thus:

There was an executioner who didn’t want to execute a prisoner.

“It’s against my principles,” the executioner said to the prisoner, “I don’t want to execute you.”

“Look, I’m no fan of being executed,” the prisoner said, “But if it’s against your principles to execute people, why did you become an executioner?”

“I didn’t want to be an executioner,” the executioner said, “I wanted to be mayor.”

“How did you end up being an executioner if you wanted to be mayor?” the prisoner asked.

“It’s civil service,” the executioner said, “I needed to get my foot in the door.”

“Why didn’t you become a clerk?” the prisoner asked, “Why didn’t you become a policeman?  Why didn’t you choose some civil service job that could build your resume with mayoral skill sets?”

“The job was open, I took it,” the executioner said, “Besides, being an executioner is very much like being a mayor.  The mayor cuts ribbons, I cut necks.  The mayor hangs necklaces from necks, I hang necks from gallows.  The mayor hosts banquets, I host last meals.”

“There’s a lot more to being mayor than that,” the prisoner said, “I should know, I was the mayor’s chief administrator.
“So why am I executing you?” the executioner asked.

“Because I told the mayor that the mayor did nothing but cut ribbons, hang necklaces and host banquets,” the prisoner said, “Because that’s all the mayor was doing: cutting ribbons, hanging necklaces and serving banquets.”

“What did I tell you?” the executioner asked, “Cutting ribbons, hanging necklaces, serving banquets, that’s what mayors do.”

“What about helping the poor?” the prisoner asked, “What about maintaining the sewers?  What about regulating the guilds and overseeing the defense of the town?”

“That’s the the job of the mayor’s chief administrator,” the executioner said, “That’s your job.  Seems you weren’t doing your job.”

“But is that worth being executed for?” the prisoner asked.

“If the mayor says it’s worth being executed for, it’s worth being executed for,” the executioner said.

“But isn’t execution your job?” the prisoner asked.

“That’s why this job is against my principles,” the executioner said, “The mayor wants executioning done, the mayor should come down here and do some executioning.”

“Then who would cut the ribbons?” the prisoner asked.

The executioner considered this for a moment.

“I see your point,” the executioner said, “I suppose we’ll leave the mayor to cut the ribbons, hang the necklaces and host the banquets.  I’ll hang the necks.  Your neck will be hanged.  Hold still, will you, while I put the noose around your neck.”

“Everything in its proper place,” the prisoner said.