The Parable of the Citizen Under Arrest

One day while teaching, Josh was asked, ”Teacher, how can the victim of a rape be put in jail for sex crimes?”

Josh spoke thus:

A police officer was arresting a citizen.

“What is the charge?” the citizen asked.

“Is this yours?” the police officer asked.  The police officer held up a piece of rope, about thirty feet long.

“It was in the cellar when I bought the house,” the citizen said.

“I bet it was,” the police officer said, “I bet you just happened to have just the correct amount of rope to hang over that branch there, the thick branch.”

“Why would I hang a piece of rope over that branch?” the citizen asked.

The police officer held up a length of curtain sash and asked, “Do you deny that this your curtain sash, that I just took from the curtains in your sitting room window?”

“I use it to open and close the curtains,” the citizen said.

“Of course you do,” the police officer said, “And I’m sure it’s never occurred to you that you might drape it over the large beam in your kitchen.  Is this yours?”

The police showed the citizen some weed poison.

“What’s wrong with weed poison?” the citizen asked.

“Nothing,” the police officer said, “If it’s used on weeds.”

“What else would I use it on?” the citizen asked.

“Is this yours?” the police officer asked, holding up a carving knife, “And all this?”  The police officer emptied a large bag onto the floor, forming a small pile of utility knives, medicine bottles, razor blades and plastic bags.

“Why did you take all of that out of my house?” the citizen asked.

“That’s evidence, that is,” the police officer said.

“Of what, that I own stuff?” the citizen asked, “Ordinary, everyday stuff?”

“Don’t be smart,” the police officer said, “You could suffocate yourself with those plastic bags.”

“I might,” the citizen said, “But why would I?”

“That’s what I aim to find out,” the police officer said.

“So you’re arresting me?” the citizen asked.

“On suspicion of suicide,” the police officer said, “Suicide’s illegal around these parts. It’s a capital offense.”

“You’d execute someone for attempting suicide?” the citizen asked, “Isn’t that counterproductive?”

“So you admit you were thinking about suicide!” the police officer said, “I hope you have a good lawyer.”

“You’re the one thinking about suicide,” the citizen said, “Maybe you need a good lawyer.”

The police officer looked at the pile of knives, poisons, medicines and rope and jumped back.

“Pick that up,” the police said to another police officer, “That’s evidence, that is.  And you,” the police officer said to the citizen, “Count yourself lucky I let you off with just a warning this time.”

“Can I keep my stuff?” the citizen asked.

“Do you have a good lawyer?” the police officer asked.

“Take the stuff,” the citizen said.