The Parable of the Shell Game

One day while teaching, Josh was asked, ”Teacher, how are bills negotiated in the House of Representatives?”

Josh spoke thus:

“The key to a good trick is to divert attention,” a mentor told a novice.”

“Like a shell game?” the novice asked, “Where you move things around so much that people can’t tell which shell the pea is under?”

“The shell game is slight of hand,” the mentor said, “And slight of hand, while clever, is vulnerable to a keen eye.  The only way for a shell game to really work is to remove the pea completely.  Then every choice is wrong.”

“But don’t you have to show what’s under every shell?” the novice asked.

“That’s where the diversion comes in,” the mentor said, “First you divert attention while you remove the pea.  Then you move the shells.  Then you show that the pea isn’t under the shell the sucker picks.  When the sucker demands to see the pea, you divert the attention of the sucker by calling in more players.  At the same time, you pick up all the shells.  Now nobody knows where the pea was.”

“So what’s a good diversion?” the novice asked.

“The best diversion is accusation,” the mentor said, “The best defense is a good attack, that’s what Napoleon said.  Accuse the sucker of cheating.  Accuse the sucker of counting cards.”

“There are no cards in a shell game,” the novice said.

“Exactly,” the mentor said, “Now you’re arguing over cards, and not arguing over the pea.”

“But everyone knows there are no cards,” the novice said.

“You don’t want there to be cards,” the mentor said, “If there are cards, you can’t accuse the sucker of playing the cards card.”

“But didn’t you bring up the cards card?” the novice asked.

“Of course I did,” the mentor said, “But now not only are we not arguing about peas, we’re not even arguing about cards.  We’re arguing about arguing about cards.”

“But you’ll lose that fight,” the novice said.

“I want to lose that fight,” the mentor said, “That makes me the victim.  I’m being bullied by the sucker.  Once I’m the victim, I control the argument.  I now not only don’t have cards, but now I don’t have a pea either.”

“Where’s the pea gone?” the novice asked.

“In the sucker’s pocket,” the mentor said.

“How did the sucker get it?” the novice asked.

“The sucker doesn’t have it,” the mentor said, “It’s under one of the shells.”

“But there are no shells,” the novice said.

“Exactly,” the mentor said.