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One day while teaching, Josh was asked, ”Teacher, why do I watch the Tony Awards? I haven’t been to a Broadway show in years.”
Josh spoke thus:
A popular actor was offered the opportunity to host an awards ceremony.
“You know I don’t like awards ceremonies,” the popular actor said.
“It’s exposure,” the popular actor’s agent said.
“So is getting arrested for shoplifting on Rodeo Drive,” the popular actor said, “And shoplifting on Rodeo Drive would be a lot more fun.”
“Let’s not relive that,” the popular actor’s agent said, “What is it you have against awards ceremonies, anyway? It’s not like you’ve never won any awards. And it’s not like you’re not going to win more. You’re a popular actor.”
“You know me,” the popular actor said, “I’m an artist. I don’t care about awards.”
“You know me,” the popular actor’s agent said, “I’m your agent, and I’m telling you, you should care about awards. Awards mean you get offers.”
“I just got an offer,” the popular actor said, “I just got an offer to host an awards ceremony. And I’ve got work lined up for two, three years. You know that.”
“And then what?” the popular actor’s agent asked.
“I don’t know and then what,” the popular actor said, “That’s two, maybe three years away. Why, what do you know that I don’t?”
“Nothing, nothing,” the popular actor’s agent said, “I’m just saying, this is show business.”
“You know something,” the popular agent said, “Tell me what you know.”
“Just do the awards ceremony,” the popular actor’s agent said.
“Tell me what you know,” the popular actor said.
“Do the awards ceremony,” the popular actor’s agent said.
“Tell me what you know,” the popular actor said, “And I’ll do the awards ceremony.”
“If you do the awards ceremony,” the popular actor’s agent said, “There’ll be nothing to know.”
“You don’t know there’ll be nothing to know,” the popular actor said, “Tell me what you know, then I can decide if its...”
The popular actor turned to the director.
“Does this even make sense?” the popular actor asked the director.
“It sets up the end of the first act,” the director said.
“It’s sounds contrived,” the popular actor said, “Can’t we cut it?”
“You’re not cutting my best scene,” the actor’s agent said.
“We’re not cutting anyone’s scene,” the director said, “Just say the lines. We can always fix it in editing.”
“You’re not fixing my best scene in editing,” the actor’s agent said, “I know what fixing in editing means. Fixing in editing means cutting.”
“Make the scene work, and there’ll be nothing to cut,” the director said.
“You’re planning to cut it, aren’t you?” the popular actor’s agent said, “Tell me.”
“Make the scene work, and there’ll be nothing to tell,” the director said.
“You don’t know there’ll be nothing to tell,” the popular actor’s agent said, “Tell me what you’re planning and I’ll...”
The director turned to the popular actor and said, “See?”
“Okay, I get it now,” the popular actor said, “Let’s take it from the beginning. You know I don’t like awards ceremonies.”
“It’s exposure,” the popular actor’s agent said.
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