The Parable of the Golfer and the Driver

One day while teaching, Josh was asked, ”Teacher, what sort of moral compass can a lawmaker have who cuts social programs in the name of balancing the budget while simultaneously maintaining government subsidies that give that lawmaker great sums of money?”

Josh spoke thus:

A golfer was undecided on which golf driver to buy.  The golfer went to a sporting goods store and looked at a number of brands.  The golfer took a number of clubs off of the rack and gave them practice swings.  As the golfer was examining a driver, a stranger standing nearby said, “You don’t want that club.”

“What’s wrong with this club?” the golfer asked.

“There’s nothing wrong with that club,” the stranger said, “If you want to spend every Saturday morning digging balls out of the weeds.”

The golfer didn’t want to spend every Saturday morning digging balls out of the weeds.  The stranger took a different club from the rack.

“Now this is a driver you want,” the stranger said, “See these grooves?  These grooves mean you won’t spin the ball into the weeds.  These grooves mean the ball will go straight every time.”

“There are no grooves you can put on a club that can make the ball go straight every time,” the golfer said.

“Well I can stop you from deliberately hitting your ball into the weeds,” the stranger said, “But assuming you don’t, that ball will go straight as an arrow.  And it will go far too: look at this shaft.  That’s a power shaft.  That’s an extra twenty percent of distance.”

“You just made that number up,” the golfer said.

“No sir, I didn’t” the stranger said, “Look at this.”  

The stranger pulled out a golfing magazine and opened it to a page with a picture of the driver the stranger was holding, and below the picture a comparison with other leading drivers.  The twenty percent seemed to be legitimate.

“I have one of these drivers myself,” the stranger said, “I know how good it is.  If you get this sized by the salesperson and see how it feels, I bet you’ll like it.”

The golfer did as the stranger suggested and found that the club did feel good.  The golfer decided to buy the club.

“You’re the fifth today,” the salesperson said.  

The golfer showed the salesperson the magazine.  

“That explains it,” the salesperson said.  The salesperson turned the page to show a picture of the stranger to whom the golfer had just been talking.  The stranger was holding the driver they had just been discussing.

“That person wrote the article? the golfer asked.

“That person didn’t just write the article,” the salesperson said, “That person designed the club.  That person also edits that magazine.”

“How do you know that?” the golfer asked.

“Because this store publishes that magazine,” the salesperson said, “Do you want the long-term warranty with that?”