The Parable of the Angry Dramatist

One day while teaching, Josh was asked, ”Teacher, what is the sense in a group of congresspeople standing outside Congress in order to prevent debate, by staging a rally protesting that there is no debate in Congress?”

Josh spoke thus:

There was an angry dramatist who hated sitcom actors.

“I hate sitcom actors,” the angry dramatist said in the foyer of a casting agency, “They aren’t really actors, they’re walking punchlines.”

“They don’t write their punchlines,” a fellow dramatist said.

“Does anyone write their punchlines?” the angry dramatist asked, “I thought their punchlines came out of a book.  The writers just look up a punchline in a catalog.  Need a snappy comeback to a cab driver?  Volume 3, under “C,” for “Cab,” cross-referenced to “S,” for “Snappy.”

The angry dramatist mimed lifting a large volume onto a table, blowing dust off of it, opening it and thumbing through it, then running a finger down the page.

“Here it is,” the angry dramatist said, “No driver’s license?  No green card?  No English phrasebook?  And you’re going to tell me how to get to Carnegie Hall?”

“Practice!  Practice!  Practice!” all the fellow dramatists in the room recited.

“See?” the angry dramatist said, “You don’t even have the book, and you know the punchline!”

The angry dramatist held up a smart phone.

“This is how you all knew the punchline, isn’t it?” the angry dramatist said, “You all googled it!  Google, it’s the new sitcom writer.  Need a story about a sassy but sensitive kid thinking of taking drugs?  Google it!  Need a three-person farce with bicurious undertones?  Google it!”

The angry dramatist took out a smart phone and pretended to google.

“Just as I suspected!” the angry dramatist said, “Wikipedia!  Every search you make, sooner or later, will take you to Wikipedia.  Who was the fourth president?  It’s on Wikipedia.  Want to make a cake?  The ingredients are on Wikipedia.  Want to build a drone aircraft and zap your neighbor who WILL NOT TURN DOWN THE VOLUME OF HIS VAN HALEN?”

“Wikipedia!” the crowd of dramatists all shouted.

“Wikipedia,” the angry dramatist said, “Wikipedia is like Kevin Bacon.  Six degrees of Wikipedia.  Except, it’s one degree of Wikipedia, two degrees at most.”

The angry dramatist put the smart phone away.  “You know I read on Wikipedia that Freud said there were only seven jokes.  Now there’s a laugh riot.  Could you imagine sitting next to that guy in a bar?

“‘Have you heard the one about...?’

“‘Yeah, Sigmund, we’ve heard it.’

“‘Have I told you the one about...?’

“‘Yeah, that one too.  Pass the beer nuts.’

“The man probably knew one knock-knock joke.  One.  And he told it all the time.”

The door to the casting room opened, and the angry dramatist’s name was called.

“That’s me!” the angry dramatist said.  Passing through the door, the angry dramatist turned back to the crowded waiting room and said, “Wish me luck, I don’t do a lot of comedy!”