The Parable of the Wrestling Cowboys

One day while teaching, Josh was asked, ”Teacher, New York and Boston famously dislike each other, so how do you interpret how Boston reacted to the hurricane and now New York is reacting to the Marathon Bombing?”

Josh spoke thus:

Two young cowboys had been ordered to watch two calves in a pen.

“I’m gonna name mine Burgers,” one young cowboy said.

“I’m gonna name mine Fertilizer,” the second young cowboy said.

“I’m gonna name mine Stinky Gas,” the first cowboy said.

“I’m gonna name mine Chicken Fried Steak,” the second cowboy said.

“I’m gonna name yours Mangy Full-o-Worms,” the first young cowboy said.

“You ain’t gonna name mine nothin’!” the second young cowboy said.

“You stop me,” the first young cowboy said.

The second young cowboy jumped at the first young cowboy.  The two young cowboys fell in the pen with the calves and started wrestling.  They wrestled among the legs of the calves.  The frightened calves lowed.  The calves’ mother trotted toward the fence separating her from her offspring.

The two young cowboys continued to wrestle beneath the two calves, oblivious of the calves, the calves’ dung and the calves’ mother.

The nervous mother cow pushed against the fence.  The fence bowed.

Emboldened by their mother’s proximity, the two calves kicked gingerly at the young cowboys on the ground.  Consumed by their quarrel, the young cowboys continued to fight.

“Quit punchin’ me!” the first young cowboy said.

“I ain’t punchin’!” the second young cowboy said, “It’s you’s punchin!”

“I ain’t punchin’!” the first young cowboy said.

“You are too punchin!” the second cowboy said.

“Well so are you punchin’!” the first cowboy said.

“Let’s both stop punchin’!” the second cowboy said.

“You first!” the first cowboy said.

“Both together!” the second cowboy said.

Both cowboys stopped wrestling, the better to determine whether the other had ceased punching.  Each calf gave a cowboy a kick.

“The cows are punchin’” the first cowboy said, standing.

“Cows don’t punch!” the second cowboy told the calves.  The first cowboy helped the second cowboy up.

“Cowboys can’t punch if the cows is punchin’!” the second cowboy told the calves.

“Lansakes!” both cowboys said as they reached for their hats on the pen floor.  They brushed off their hats and put them on their heads.

With a wrinkled nose the first cowboy said to the second cowboy, “I’m gonna call you Cowpat.”

The second cowboy replied, “I’m gonna call you Dungface.”

The calves and the mother cow all lowed.