The Parable of the Furniture Code

One day while teaching, Josh was asked, ”Teacher, how ironic is it that the anniversary of Lincoln’s assassination is the same date as the anniversary of the publication of Webster’s first dictionary, a book that helped standardize the language of, and hence to unify, the United States John Wilkes Booth despised so greatly?”

Josh spoke thus:

A spy was texting a second spy a coded message about the second spy’s assigned task.

The first spy texted, “Is the item of furniture complete?”

The second spy texted, “I have inspected the item of furniture.  The item of furniture is complete.”

The first spy texted, “I have reports that the item of furniture is missing a leg.”

The second spy texted, “Your reports are in error.  The item of furniture is complete.”

The first spy texted, “Has the furniture maker been paid in full?”

The second spy texted, “The furniture maker has been replaced.”

The first spy texted, “How was the item of furniture completed with no furniture maker?”

The second spy texted, “The item of furniture was completed by the customer.”

The first spy texted, “Did the customer use tools supplied by the furniture maker?”

The second spy texted, “The tools used by the customer were the customer’s own tools.  However the furniture maker did supply a proprietary multipurpose tool.”

The first spy texted, “Are we in code still, or did you just build a stool?”

The second spy texted, “OMG that’s so totally IKEA.”

The first spy texted, “LOL I had the same thought.”

The second spy texted, “I made up the proprietary multipurpose tool.”

The first spy texted, “That’s a relief.  I thought I had the code wrong.”

The second spy texted, “No, you were OK.  First time with the furniture code?”

The first spy texted, “That obvious?”

The second spy texted, “Totally not.  Until the IKEA joke.  That was a giveaway.”

The first spy texted, “The target has been eliminated, though, right?”

The second spy texted, “Big time.  Best to say furniture.”

The first spy texted, “True.  So the the stool is complete right?”

The second spy texted, “Haha!  The stool is complete!  IKEA!”

The first spy texted, “IKEA!”