The Parable of the Trees

One day while teaching, Josh was asked, ”Teacher, how can local economic interests be harnessed to retard global deforestation?”

Josh spoke thus:

A government inspector had been sent into the woods.

“He wants to inspect?” one of the locals said to a neighbor, “We’ll give him something to inspect!”

The neighbor laughed, and the two of them watched as the inspector disappeared behind the scrub that marked the edge of the woods.

“These college boys think they know a thing or two,” the local said to the neighbor, “They talk about global warming.  They talk about acid rain.  They talk about glaciers.”

“What do I care about glaciers?” the neighbor said, “I ain’t never needed a glacier.”

“And polar bears.  And tree frogs.  And pygmy owls,” the local said.

“If I saw a polar bear I’d shoot it,” the neighbor said.

“You gotta shoot it,” the local said, “Polar bears don’t know nothing but killing.”

“Polar bears kill first, ask questions after,” the neighbor said.

“They don’t even ask questions after,” the local said, “Who they gonna ask?”

“Ain’t no one gonna answer ain’t been eaten,” the neighbor said.

“That college boy won’t find no bears in them woods,” the local said.

“No sir,” the neighbor said, “Won’t find no pygmy frogs nor tree owls neither.”

“Won’t stop him looking, though, I’ll wager,” the local said.

“Them college boys is always looking,” the neighbor said.

“They ain’t never seeing, that’s the problem,” the local said.

“They oughta ask who knows,” the neighbor said.

“They oughta ask us,” the local said.

“Look at them woods, for example” the neighbor said.

“Didn’t take no climatologist to make them woods,” the local said.

“Didn’t take no Al Gore, and didn’t take no Audubon Society,” the neighbor said.

“It took people saw there needed to be woods,” the local said, “Else there wouldn’t be no wood.  People need wood.”

“Common sense,” the neighbor said.

The inspector came out of the woods.

“Remarkable!” the inspector said, “A sustainable, commercial ecosystem!”

“You didn’t get lost in there, I guess,” the local said.

“But how did you do it?”  the inspector said, “How did you know how to balance the system?”

The local shrugged and said, “We’re farmers.  Give us something worth planting, we plant.  Planting’s what we do.”

The neighbor said, “You plant, things grow.  It ain’t rocket science.”