The Parable of the Foxholes

One day while teaching, Josh was asked, ”Teacher, what do North Korea’s missile threats and the attempted ban on over-the-counter birth control have in common?”

Josh spoke thus:

A company of soldiers was going through a training exercise on an ocean-side beach.  They were to see who could dig their foxholes the fastest and the deepest.

The two best diggers entered into a digging race.  After a short while both diggers’ holes were deeper than the diggers were tall.

The company commander called on them to cease digging.

“How deep did I tell you to dig your holes?” the company commander asked.

“We dug as deep as we could dig,” one of the diggers said.

“Who won?” the second digger asked.

“Nobody won,” the company commander said, “You both lost.”

“Are we tied?” the first digger asked.

“You’re both deep,” the company commander said.

“But who is deepest?” the second digger asked.

“You’re both too deep,” the company commander said.  The company commander turned to the rest of the company and said, “Let that be a lesson too you all:  when digging a foxhole don’t dig too deep.”

“How deep is too deep?” the first digger asked.

“Can you climb out of your holes?” the company commander asked.

“The holes are too deep,” the second digger said.

“Then that’s too deep,” the company commander said.  The company commander turned to the rest of the company, “Let that be a lesson to you all: too deep to climb out of is too deep.”

“We got excited,” the first digger said.

“We couldn’t stop ourselves,” the second digger said.

“You shouldn’t have let yourselves get excited,” the company commander said.  The company commander turned to the rest of the company, “Let that be a lesson to you: don’t let yourselves get excited.”

“Can we come out now?” the first digger asked.

“Can someone help us?” the second digger asked.

“You dug your holes,” the company commander said, “When you dig your holes, it’s your responsibility to get out.  Helping you out puts us at risk.  The tide is coming in.”

“The tide is coming in?” the first digger shouted.

“Help us out, we’ll drown!” the second digger shouted.

The tide came closer to the diggers’ holes.

A number of the company stepped forward to help the diggers out of their holes.

The company commander drew his sidearm and said to the members of the company who moved to help, “I forbid anyone to help them out of their holes.”

The tide came closer to the diggers’ holes.

The company above ground stepped back.  The company commander said to the diggers, “Your mutual excitement at your digging race has assured that your digging will get you drowned.”

“We understand!” both diggers cried, “Now please help us out!”

The company commander addressed the remainder of the company and said, “Let that be a lesson to you: if you get excited, your destruction is assured.  Now, back to base.”

The tide came closer to the diggers’ holes.