The Parable of the Boy and the Calf

One day while teaching, Josh was asked, ”Teacher, how are you marking International Vegetarian Day?”

Josh spoke thus:

A rancher’s child was talking to a calf.

“Someday, you’re gonna be a great buckin’ bull,” the rancher’s child said to the calf, “You’re gonna travel all over the country, and you’re gonna be in the biggest rodeos, and the biggest names in bull ridin’ are gonna try and ride you, but there ain’t nobody gonna be able to ride you, cuz you’re gonna be the greatest buckin’ bull in the history of buckin’ bulls.”

“That calf ain’t gonna be no buckin’ bull,” the rancher said to the rancher’s child.

“You can’t say that,” the child said, “You don’t know.  That calf can grow up and be whatever kinda bull it wants to be.   If that calf wants to grow up and be a buckin’ bull, then that calf can grow up to be a buckin’ bull.”

“That calf ain’t never gonna be no buckin’ bull,” the rancher said to the rancher’s child, “See that pen that calf is standin’ in?”

The rancher’s child looked at the calf’s pen.

“Yeah, I see the pen that calf’s standin’ in,” the rancher’s child said.

“It’s kinda a small pen, don’t cha think?” the rancher said.

“That don’t mean nuthin’,” the rancher’s child said, “That calf is in a small pen now cuz it’s small.  When it’s bigger, it’ll be in a bigger pen.  When it’s full-growed, it’ll be in the biggest pen a bull ever had, cuz it’s gonna be the biggest bull there ever was.  It’ll be the biggest bull ever, and it’ll be the best buckin’ bull in the history of ever.”

“That calf ain’t never gonna have a bigger pen,” the rancher said, “Do you see that little hut the calf is standin’ in?  That calf ain’t never gonna get big enough to outgrow that little hut.”

“Is it a special kind of calf?” the rancher’s child asked, “Is it a special kind of calf that’ll never grow big?”

“It’s exactly a special kind of calf that’ll never grow big,” the rancher said, “It’s a veal calf.”

“What’s a veal calf?” the rancher’s child asked, “Is it a pygmy calf?”

“A veal calf is a normal calf that don’t never grow up,” the rancher said.

“Why don’t it grow up?” the rancher’s child asked.

“Because we slaughter it young,” the rancher said, “To make veal meat.  Like in veal parmesan.”

“I like veal parmesan,” the rancher’s child said.

“Well there you go,” the rancher said.

The rancher’s child turned to the calf and said, “You’re gonna be the greatest veal parmesan there ever was.”

The rancher’s child gave the calf a big hug around its neck.