The Parable of the Communications Monitors

One day while teaching, Josh was asked, ”Teacher, if the NSA isn’t allowed to listen to us anymore, who will it listen to?”

Josh spoke thus:

Two communications monitors were eating lunch together.

“I could use a vacation,” one of the communications monitors said, “I haven’t had a vacation in months, in years maybe.”

“Oh, I could tell you vacation stories!” the second communications monitor said.

“I think I want to go to Europe this year,” the first communications monitor said, “I’ve always wanted to go to Greece, but I’ve never gone.  I’d love to see the Aegean.  I’d love to see where Odysseus sailed.  I’d love to see Lesbos.  I want to see the Parthenon and the Plains of Marathon.  I want to dive for pearls in the Mediterranean.  I want to sip Ouzo and watch the sunset reflect off of Mount Olympus.

“Oh, I could tell you stories about the Aegean!” the secon communications monitor said, “And stories about Lesbos!  Amazing stories about the Parthenon, Marathon and Mount Olympus!  And don’t get me started talking about Ouzo!”

“Believe it or not,” the first communications monitor said, “I want to go to Strasbourg.  I know it’s not a usual tourist destination, not for someone’s first trip to Europe, but I’ve always thought of Strasbourg as such a romantic place.  The way it’s nestled on the Rhine, half French, half German.  Wonderful old half timbered houses, leaning out over narrow cobbled streets, a soaring gothic cathedral.  German sausage and beer.  French cooking.  French wine!  What a lovely place to go, what a European place!”

“What I couldn’t tell you about traveling to Strasbourg!” the second communications monitor said, “The intrigues!  The trysts!  The rendezvous!  Strasbourg, gallic and teutonic!  Ancient and futuristic!  You should really let me tell you about the goings on in Strasbourg!”

“And, of course Paris!” the first communications monitor said, “City of Light!  City of artists!  City of dancing, city of cuisine, city of romance!”

“Who can resist Paris?” the second communications monitor said, “Everyone knows Paris is the center of fashion, of La Mode!  All the people who have strolled the banks of the Seine, sat at cafés in the Latin Quarter, sipped wine in the crooked, alpine alleyways of Montmartre!  The things I could tell you about Paris!”

“You’ve never been to any of those places,” the first communications monitor said, “You’ve never been out of the country.  You’ve gone to less places than I have.  You never leave this office.”

“Who needs to leave the office?” the second communications monitor said, “I hear it all.  That’s my beat.  Those are the communications I monitor.  Anything happens in Europe, anything at all, it comes across my desk, it displays on my monitor, it travels through the airwaves, through the wires, through my headphones.  It fills my senses, my mind, my very being.  It becomes me and I become it!”

“Two things,” the first communications monitor said, “First: you really, really, really need a vacation.  Second: I’ve got to get transferred from the Midwest to European monitoring.  Or maybe I should move to Europe.”

“If you do,” said the second communications monitor, “I’ll be the first to hear about it.”