The Parable of the Hoarder and the Miser

One day while teaching, Josh was asked, ”Teacher, why are the poor and unemployed the ones who suffer when the rich argue?”

Josh spoke thus:

A miser stood in a hoarder’s doorway.

“Give it to me,” the miser said, “You owe it to me.”

“I owe money to you,” the hoarder said, “I owe you nothing else.”

“Give it to me,” the miser said, “And you’ll owe me nothing else.

“It’s worth more than money,” the hoarder said.

“Nothing is worth more than money,” the miser said, “And nothing is worth less than money.  Everything is exactly worth money.  Money is the measure of worth.”

“So let me pay you in money,” the hoarder said.

“You have no money,” the miser said.

“I can get money,” the hoarder said, “I only need to sell a few things.”

“You?  Sell a few things?” the miser said, “What are you going to sell?  What are you going to part with?  You can’t part with anything.”

“I can part with things,” the hoarder said, “When I want to.”

“You can’t,” the miser said, “And you know you can’t.”

“I can,” the hoarder said, “And I will.”

“You won’t,” the miser said, “Because you can’t.”

“Just let me sell something,” the hoarder said.

“Just let me have what I want,” the miser said.

“It’s of no value to you,” the hoarder said, “You’ll only sell it.”

“If I sell it,” the miser said, “Then that’s my business.  Your business is to give it to me.”

“And our debt is settled?” the hoarder asked.

“And our debt is settled,” the miser said.

“All of it?” the hoarder asked.

“All of it,” the miser said.

“And I owe you nothing?” the hoarder asked.

“Oh just hand it over!” the miser said.

The hoarder stood motionless for a time, head bowed, looking at the floor.  Then the hoarder reached behind the door, took the object the miser demanded and handed it to the miser.  The miser smiled.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” the miser asked.

The hoarder’s head remained bowed, and the hoarder continued to look at the floor.

“So my debt is paid?” the hoarder asked in a weak voice.

“You debt is paid,” the miser said.

The hoarder remained with head bowed, looking at the floor.

“Oh, cheer up!” the miser said, “Your debt is paid!  You’ve given up a possession that was nothing but a burden to you!  Double win!”

The hoarder did not reply.

The miser turned to leave, then turned back.

“Oh, and one more thing,” the miser said, “Merry Christmas.”

The miser took the object the hoarder had given over and placed it in the hoarder’s hand.

“I don’t understand,” the hoarder said.

“It’s cheaper than fruit cake,” the miser said.