The Parable of the Mysterious Gifts

Josh lives.  Josh walks.  Josh breathes.  Josh speaks. 

One day while teaching, Josh was asked, ”Teacher, how can a public hearing on state secrets not destroy the state secrets?  How do we preserve our public process in private?”

Josh spoke thus:

There was a twin sister who had cheated.  

She had looked under her parents’ bed, and she knew what her parents had bought her for her birthday.  She also knew what her parents had bought her twin brother.

Her twin brother had not cheated.

Her twin brother had not looked under his parents’ bed.  He did not know what his parents had bought him for his birthday.  He did not know what his parents had bought his twin sister.

“Do you want to know what our parents bought us for our birthday?” the twin girl asked her twin brother.

“What color was the wrapping paper that they used?” the twin brother asked the twin sister.

“I don’t know what wrapping paper they used,” the twin sister told her twin brother, “The presents weren’t wrapped.”

“If you don’t know the color of the wrapping paper, then you know nothing about the gifts,” the twin brother told his twin sister.

“You’ve spoiled the surprise,” the twin sister told the twin brother.

“They will use blue metallic wrapping paper for one gift,” the twin brother told the twin sister.

“Which gift?” the twin sister wondered aloud.

“They will use scarlet wrapping paper with a mediaeval tapestry pattern to wrap another gift,” the twin brother told the twin sister.

“I can barely guess at what gift will be in mediaeval tapestry!” the twin sister exclaimed.

“The largest gift is too large to wrap, and its companion too small for a box,” the twin brother told the twin sister.

“How could such a large gift fit under a bed?” the twin sister wondered, “And which was too small for wrapping?”

“The largest gift will greet us in our room when we awake,” the twin brother told the twin sister.

“Which one will begin the day?” the twin sister wondered.

“The smallest gift will be given to us as we go to bed,” the twin brother told the twin sister.

“Tell me which!  Tell me which!” the twin sister demanded of her twin brother.

“I can’t tell you which,” the twin brother told the twin sister, “I do not know the gifts.”

“Can there be a more exciting birthday?” the twin sister asked the twin brother.

The twin brother replied, “Next year will be better.”