The Parable of the Famous Burglar

One day while teaching, Josh was asked, ”Teacher, what does a thief do with fifty-million dollars’ worth of diamonds?”

Josh spoke thus:

A famous burglar was standing on a South American beach, immune from extradition.  A government official who would not hand the famous burglar over to the European authorities stood next to the famous burglar.  They were sharing a sapphire sky, an emerald seascape and a dazzling quartz beach.

“It’s not all Cary Grant on Riviera rooftops,” the famous burglar told the government official.

“No giant pink diamonds, I suppose,” the government official said.

“These movie thieves,” the famous burglar said, “They’re all in love with beautiful gems, with exquisite silver work, with brilliant, golden tiaras and bracelets.”

“Aren’t you?” the government official asked.

“That’s all Hollywood stuff, to excite the audience” the famous burglar said, “For me, it’s business.”

“You must, is it not, appreciate the value of what you take,” the government official said.

“I appreciate the dollar value,” the famous burglar said.

“So you never are tempted to keep, let us say, a watch, or a ring?” the government official asked, “For your wife, or for your girlfriend, or for your mistress--or for all three?”

The famous burglar and the government official shared this joke as they shared the approach of sunset.  The sun was now a ruby couched in amethyst clouds.  The sea was jade.

“Do you know how tricky a wife or a girlfriend or a mistress can be?” the famous burglar asked.

“I am a government official,” the government official said, “I am required to have all three.”

“I don’t like jewelry,” the famous burglar said.

“So why do you not instead take something else, something you want?” the government official asked.

“It’s too risky,” the famous burglar said, “The moment you want it, it controls you.”

“Like a wife, a girlfriend or a mistress,” the government official said.

“That’s why I don’t have one of them, either,” the famous burglar said.

“So why do you do it?” the government official asked, “It is not for the money only, surely?”

“I do it because I can,” the famous burglar said, “And being famous makes it harder, and making it harder makes it better.”

“That is why I loved it,” the government official said, “Because it was so difficult to take.”

“What did you take?” the famous burglar asked.

The government official smiled and swept his arm in a three-hundred-and-sixty-degree arc.

The stars in the sky glittered like diamonds.  The full moon shone like a silver platter.  In the halogen light, the beachfront resort glowed like gold. 

“But how can you fence it?” the famous burglar asked.

The government official heaved a sigh of helplessness and replied, “Alas, it controls me.”