The Parable of the War Documentary

One day while teaching, Josh was asked, ”Teacher, wouldn’t we all be a little better off stopping and digesting some of the information we’re ingesting?”

Josh spoke thus:

Two friends met on the street.

“What’s new?” the first friend said to the second friend.

“The government is going on the space trip,” the second friend said.

“The who is going what?” the first friend said.

“The governor is going on the space trip,” the second friend said, “Or maybe it’s the space train.”

“There’s no such thing as a space train,” the first friend said.

“Then maybe it was a space plane,” the second friend said, “Or a high-speed train.  And Interior beat the Bears.”

“Interior?” the first friend asked, “The Department of the Interior?  People are beating bears?”

“Maybe it was State,” the second friend said, “Or the Yankees.”

“Do you mean the football game?” the first friend asked.

“I’m not sure,” the second friend said, “I just saw the score real quick.  I was actually watching a documentary about a castle in Austria in World War II.”

“I saw something about that,” the first friend said, “Was that where the American troops and the German prison guards fought off an SS division right at the end of the war?”

“That’s the one,” the second friend said, “It was fascinating.  Evidently they were actually fighting when Hitler surrendered.”

“Hitler didn’t surrender,” the first friend said, “Hitler committed suicide.”

“Did he?” the second friend said, “I didn’t see the end of the movie.  I had a call.”

“Everybody knows Hitler killed himself,” the first friend said.

“Evidently that SS division didn’t know,” the second friend said, “What difference does it make?  They still fought the battle.  The war was over, and they were still fighting.  You’d think somebody would have told them.  Texted them or something.”

“They didn’t have texting then,” the first friend said.

“I know they didn’t have texting then,” the second friend said, “But they had phones didn’t they?  Or walkie-talkies?  Or telegrams, even?”

“I don’t think the SS division had access to telegrams,” the first friend said.

“That would never happen today,” the second friend said, “If that were today, Hitler would kill himself and someone would text that SS division right away, and be like ‘Dudes, the war’s done.  Stop fighting.’”

“If that were today, the SS would have used drones,” the first friend said.

“True,” the second friend said, “Or Hitler would have gone to Russia for asylum on a space train or whatever.”