The Parable of the Ides

One day while teaching, Josh was asked, ”Teacher, what do the Republicans so fear from Obamacare?”

Josh spoke thus:

A ruler did not want to travel.

“It is the Ides,” the emperor said, “I have been told to beware the Ides.”

“You haven’t been told not to travel on the Ides,” the ruler’s spouse said, “Nobody said anything about the Ides.”

“Rulers die on the Ides,” the ruler said.

“One ruler died on the Ides,” the ruler’s spouse said, “And that was in March.  And that was in a play.”

“It happened,” the ruler said, “The play was historically accurate.”

“The play had a clock chime,” the ruler’s spouse said.

“So?” the ruler asked.

“So the play was set in ancient Rome,” the ruler’s spouse said, “There were no clocks with chimes in ancient Rome.  I don’t even think there were clocks.”

“But there were calendars,” the ruler said, “And each month in that calendar had an Ides, and the ruler died on the Ides.”

“So because an ancient Roman emperor was murdered on the Ides, you won’t travel on the Ides?” the ruler’s wife asked.

“Precisely,” the ruler said, “I refuse to travel on the Ides.”

“So are you going to lie in bed all day?” the ruler’s wife asked.

“I might,” the ruler said, “I’m the ruler.  I can do what I want.”

“If you lie in bed all day, you won’t be ruler long,” the ruler’s wife said, “Get out of bed.”

“If I get out of bed,” the ruler said, “Then it’s not a long step to walking out of the room.  If I walk out of the room, it’s a short progression to walking down the hall.  If I walk down the hall, there’s nothing stopping me from leaving the building.  If I leave the building, I can leave the city.  If I leave the city, I can leave the country.  If I leave the country, I won’t be the ruler anymore.”

“Nobody’s asking you to leave the country,” the ruler’s wife said, “I’m only asking you to get out of bed.”

“I know where it will lead,” the ruler said, “It will lead to your mother’s for dinner.”

“You promised,” the ruler’s wife said.

“It’s the Ides,” the ruler said.  The ruler rolled over, the pillow hiding the ruler from the ruler’s wife.