The Parable of the Goatherd and the Vote

One day while teaching, Josh was asked, ”Teacher, when the agenda being voted on is no longer the agenda the voter wants to vote about, what is a vote?”

Josh spoke thus:

A goatherd was herding his goats into his home.

“What are you doing?” the goatherd’s wife asked, “You can’t herd the goats in here!”

“It’s cold outside,” the goatherd said.

“I know it’s cold outside,” the goatherd’s wife said, “It’s supposed to be cold outside.  It’s winter.”

“The goats are cold,” the goatherd said.

“The goats aren’t cold,” the goatherd’s wife said, “The goats are goats.  They’ve got goat skin and goat fur.  They’re supposed to be outside.”

“It wasn’t my decision,” the goatherd said, “It was the goats’ decision.”

“Of course the goats want to come in,” the goatherd’s wife said, “I grant you that it’s warmer in our home than it is outside.  But we’re not goats.  We don’t have goat skin and goat fur.  We need our home to stay warm.”

“We took a vote,” the goatherd said.

“Who took a vote?” the goatherd’s wife asked.

“The goats and I,” the goatherd said, “We took a vote, and the goats voted to come inside.”

“Goats don’t vote,” the goatherd’s wife said, “They’re goats.”

“When I asked whether we should come inside or stay outside, the goats voted to come inside,” the goatherd said.

“What did they do, a show of hands?” the goatherd’s wife asked.

“I asked yay or nay,” the goatherd said.

“You took a voice vote?” the goatherd’s wife asked.

“I took a voice vote,” the goatherd said.

“With goats?” the goatherd’s wife asked.

“With goats,” the goatherd said.

“Goats don’t vote!” the goatherd’s wife said, “And even if they did, they’re goats!  They don’t get to vote on where they sleep.”

“That’s a fascist thing to say,” the goatherd said.

“It’s not fascist to keep your goats outside!” the goatherd’s wife said, “It’s goat herding!  Now get them out of our home!”

“They won’t be happy,” the goatherd said.

“I don’t care if they’re happy,” the goatherd’s wife said.

“All right, if you insist,” the goatherd said, “Everybody out!”

The goats left the goatherd’s home.

“It’s a dark day for democracy,” the goatherd said.

“Democracy is just fine,” the goatherd’s wife said, “Who’s going to clean my carpet?”